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| Boo on ignorance. Big giant boo.
I feel like shit. I remember this feeling. Tonight I experienced for the 2nd time a white friend thinking low of Filipinos through their words and actions. Ouch. I remember the first time this happened about 12 years ago, feeling like they have it all wrong and drowning in subtle examples that Filipinos can be smart and rich. Matter of fact, I know many smart and rich Filipinos, but being countered with the look of "sure you do, sure there are. anyway..."
Then the flip side, where there are smart and rich Filipinos I know who think they're superior to everyone. And I'm flabbergasted by their arrogance, because, well, see paragraph above.
Big giant boo.
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| Have you ever tried to hold your tongue so bad it hurts? Because I so badly want to bite back at a verbal bully, but I know my material will make her cry all the way home.
The only thing stopping me (and it's not that I would make the bitch cry) is that it really doesn't make me feel better to hurt her feelings. It is a relief to put people in their place, especially when they deserve it. But honestly, I don't feel right about hurting someone's feelings on purpose. It accomplishes nothing.
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| My dad's best friend died and I went to the funeral. My dad couldn't make it.
I was so sad. Crying my eyes out. Even when I got home, I was crying. I've actually been sad since the news came.
Of course, I was sad for his wife and young kids, or that it could've been any of our dads, or that he was a really good man. But those weren't the reason for my tears.
I am sad because my dad's best friend died and I know my dad loved his best friend. And I love my daddy so much.
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| Totally annoyed.
Definitely annoyed, but not sure why. Maybe because I had a strong cup of espresso. Coffee has a terrible effect on me, it can be an upper or a downer. One minute I'm happy, the next minute I'm in a funk and I have to ask myself "Why do I feel like crap?... Oh yeah, I just had espresso."Swear.
To add insult to injury, I saw two pictures of myself in the same white shorts over two occasions. It's like, WTF did you not look in the mirror? I have a terrible tendency to force a piece I like even though I look like shit in it.
I am totally convinced that I have way too much self esteem. I need to be more insecure. Being confident and smart, and knowing that you're loved, doesn't help much when you want your ass to look good in a bikini.
ADDENDUM
Honesty and self-deprecation
I realize that a lot of people aren't ready for honesty or self-deprecation. They don't get the joke. See, part of the charm is that you think you're great but your faults are absolutely present. I'm really not for painting a Norman Rockwellian picture. Although I understand that it's also cultural for Filipinos to put only your best foot forward.
So yeah, Justin told me to stop making fun of myself in front of others because they won't get my painting of a beautiful women sitting on a toilet.
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| What's not to love about this guy?! My boyfriend calls me this morning and says, "I'm watching the Olympics and now I'm craving Panda Express."
He's funny, silly, and smart almost always. This morning, he was 2 out of 3.
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